A Not So Obvious Guide To Fake Tanning

Now I am no stranger when it comes to bronzing up my skin as I've been doing it for years, and there are a tonne of different guides to tanning however I thought I would give you the not so obvious tips that I have learnt throughout my tanning life.

1. Be prepared to see yourself naked for at least half an hour. This one is non negotiable. When tanning you need to take all your clothes off and then allow enough time for it to sort of dry before putting clothes on so make sure you are prepared for this. Im talking warning everyone in your house that you are about to tan and that they shouldn't bother you for a decent amount of time.  
2. Be prepared to stand in front of the mirror naked while analysing yourself as you apply the tan. The easiest and best way to ensure there are no streaks to your tan is to apply it looking in a mirror. That way you can see everything and see all the mistakes you would have made had you not been in front of the mirror. 
3. Be prepared to ruin your clothes and your sheets. I'd recommend using those old pjs or old workout clothes that you are keeping for no reason when you tan, because let me tell you the amount of nice clothes I've ruined is starting to add up. As for the sheets, its a given that I'm going to ruin them because I tan at night and then sleep in the tan to let it develop this way I ruin the sheets but have a perfect tan when I wake up.
4. Be prepared for the first time to be a disaster. This is also a given as you are so uncertain of what you are doing that tan ends up everywhere, its patchy, its streaky and you don't really know what you have done wrong all you know is that you have really orange hands for some reason. To prevent all of this, especially the orange hands I'd suggest getting a tanning mit. It makes applying the tan 1000x easier and also stops the oompa loompa hands. 
5. Be prepared for a shock when you wake up. The one thing about sleeping in your tan is that you never know what your going to wake up to. Will I see an orange woman staring back at me when I wake up? Or will I have the face of a bronzed goddess? You just never know. 
6. Be prepared for the most time consuming process ever. Tanning for me takes a good three days. On the first day I shave and exfoliate my whole body, this way the tan goes on smoothly and there are no weird patches. I also apply a seriously thick moisturising lotion so I have a nice smooth canvas for the tan to go onto. On the second day I apply a first coat of tan just to my legs, the reason being that I apply to coats of tan to my legs so they are darker and then one coat to the rest of me. On the day of whole body tanning I have a quick rinse in the shower and then apply a whole body coat of tan and then just sit there in my nakedness while it dries. I also make sure I have enough time the next morning to rinse off the tan as it always looks better after a shower.
7. Be prepared for the sadness that ensues when your tan begins to fade away. There is nothing more sad then seeing your once bronzed up legs turn back into the pasty white ones that they were pre tan. 
8. And finally, be prepared to do it all over again the next time. 

Hope you enjoyed my little not so obvious tips for fake tanning!